Ultima Thule
by Kami No Tsurugi Kusanagi
Summary: Magic users run the world, and the only ones who can use magic are females. Even so, males are subservient to the superior fairer sex. To cultivate talented minds, enter Ultima Thule- An all girl boarding school where males can work to gain the best position available to them- knights, at a cost. When three purplenettes meet three redheads, chaos ensues. ElsAi! Other pairings!
1. The Highest Point of Hell

**Ultima Thule**

**The Highest Point of Hell**

* * *

"_I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."_

_-Woody Allen_

* * *

The sun was a sphere of blinding radiance in the powder-blue sky. Dusty streaks of snowy white drifted languorously in the sky as a giddy breeze rustled the emerald leaves of the camellia trees while the blood-red blossoms rustled their salacious petals, ruffled at how the wind teased them. Sitting on a plane of lush, verdant grass was a towering aerie of airy marble spires aglow with a soft luminance and cavernous arched glass windows, glinting brilliantly as the sunlight bathed them.

Welcome to Ultima Thule, the most prestigious boarding school for promising young women in all of Elrios. The fairy tale-like building also served as a militant tech developer and one of the most upstanding places where a knight- a male in service to a renowned organization/ person could train at. The school cafeteria food was five-stars, not the typical slop straight out of a trash can you normally receive from school. Even better was the fact the bathrooms actually had real paper towels and toilet paper! Not those rolls of recycled paper that always gave you a butt rash and those cheap flattened hunks of cardboard that scratched the skin right off of your hands whenever you attempted to dry them.

Perhaps the most important thing (at least in the minds of some people) was that the workers were well-paid, received benefits, and a young male working there could even attend the knight training sessions for free! Not to mention said male could even stay in the posh dorms, enjoy the exquisite cuisine, and enjoy a certain amount of prestige.

There were just a few minor drawbacks though as the Sieghart twins plus their cousin- Elliot Nightray were about to find out.

For one thing, the headmistress was a complete sadist with a fondness for making gruesome threats...

* * *

Tugging nervously on a natty spiked lock of vermillion hair, Elsword Sieghart fidgeted around disconcertedly as the cold dark grey eyes of the headmistress- Speka bore into him and his twin brother- Els. Standing behind the twins was Elliot, his headphones on and blasting some symphonic metal or something like that into his ears as he nodded his head in time with the beat, the steel sword earring he wore rocking back and forth as he did so.

"So you three are here because your sister, Elesis said you were looking for a job and that you three would make reliable workers." Speka stated curtly, the corners of her lips turned upwards in a faint smirk that screamed "Crazy sadist lady here! Watch out! Danger!" Els, the younger of the two twins leaned backwards in his chair, his softly spiked crimson bangs drifting indolently over his right eye. "No," he refuted simply, letting his gaze wander all over the room, taking in the off-white walls trimmed in elaborate black molding, the varnished ebon cupboards, and the silver-framed portraits of former headmistresses that hung on the wall, their stares firm and censorious.

Speka furrowed her brow and pushed the brim of her floppy stygian witch's hat up, revealing a shock of tousled lavender bangs. "Excuse me mister?" Elsword balked at the precariously light edge in Speka's voice and he hastily spoke, cutting off Els before he could say something stupid. "Ah, he didn't mean it like that Miss Speka! What he meant to say is that the statement is a teeny bit inaccurate since Elliot"-he gestured at the black-clad redhead behind him, watching the proceedings with an amused detachment- "Is our cousin, his dad divorced his mother and his mother who had sole custody is neurotic, so he decided to come live with us."

"Unfortunately…" Els muttered under his breath, his bottom lip put out in a faint facsimile of a pout.

Elliot narrowed his sharp scarlet eyes, but other than that, he gave no indication that he had heard Els's dour remark. "Hmph!" Speka snorted and drummed her fingertips lightly against each other, her eyes tapered. "I knew that you dolt, if I had wanted confirmation about something, I would've asked you." She snarled. Elsword gulped and bit his bottom lip while Els heaved a noisy breath and slumped down in the chair. "You!" Speka barked, pointing a black-tipped acrylic nail at Els. "Huh!?" Els yelped and shot up in his chair. "Don't you dare exhibit such appalling posture! Keep your back straight or I shall straighten it for you on the rack!" Els paled and shrank back in his chair. "And you!" Speka hollered, standing up and slamming her hands against the table.

Elliot stiffened, his eyes widening with surprise and he took off his headphones. "Yeah?" He drawled and brushed his spiked bangs away from his left eye. "Keep your headphones off or I shall strangle you with them!" Speka threatened menacingly. Elliot snorted but he obliged and turned off his iPod.

Clenching her teeth into a fierce smile, revealing her abnormally sharp canines, Speka slid back into her swiveling black-leather chair. "Good… now that I have all you brats in a row, I shall tell you what you are to do and then you shall start working." Elsword's arm twitched and timorously, he held a shaky hand up. "What?" Speka snapped. "Immediately?" His voice was a soft whisper. Speka's eye twitched, signaling her intense desire to strangle someone. With a great deal of effort, she released her breath in a sibilant hiss and pushed her night-black rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"Of course it's immediately! Why would I hire you if you weren't supposed to start work right away?!"

Elsword flinched and clenched the edge of his chair, his knuckles turning bone-white. "I was just wondering-"

"Don't! I'm not offering you free knight training, a good pay with benefits, and free board here at our top-of-the-line facility here to wonder! I'm paying you to do your work like the good little slaves you're supposed to be!" Speka spat, and scratched the varnished oak desk with her fingernails, leaving five faint white scars on the desk. "Any more stupid questions?" The headmistress flashed the three boys the evil eye. Visibly shaking and feeling the great beads of cold sweat rolling off his neck, Elsword shook his head. "No…" He whispered humbly.

Speka sank back in her chair, looking mighty smug and she tugged at the black bat choker on her neck. "Very well…" She slid open a drawer and pulled out a file, containing a messy stack of papers. With an impassive expression, she flipped through it, muttering obscenities under her breath and throwing white sheets on the brocaded mauve carpet in a helter-skelter fashion. "Ah! Finally!" She stated peevishly, withdrawing a stapled packet. She flipped through them at lightning speed before chucking it on the desk and leaning backwards, contemplating the three cerise-haired youths before her.

"I wonder when she's going to decide to stick us in her oven and eat us…" Elliot snickered, baring his teeth in a wide grin. "Hah hah…" Els snapped back tartly, his arms crossed. "Shh! Do you want to get us fired before we even start?" Elsword whispered vehemently. "You do know I can hear you… right?" Speka drawled and rolled her eyes. Elsword shuddered and jerkily, turned his attention back towards Speka. "I-uh… I- uh…"

"Stuff it." Speka scowled and folded her arms. She pressed her already-thin lips into such a hard line they seemingly disappeared from her face. "And just for the record Mr. Elliot, I _will _stuff you in the oven, but I won't eat you. My familiars Hugin and Mugen will." Elliot sighed and casted a black look at the wall.

"Ok… so according to these files"- Speka sifted through the packet once more- "You Mr. Nightray are quite artistic, no?" With a sullen expression, Elliot wordlessly nodded. Speka bobbed her head up and down approvingly. "Perfect, you can paint murals and whatnot." Speka stated and waved her hand. A few loose leafs of paper shot upwards in the air and towards Elliot, who snatched them midair.

With a critical eye, Speka surveyed Elliot, noting his unruly crimson locks, his earring, and the steel necklace he wore. "Well… Normally I would threaten you at this point with how horrible your future is going to be if you displease me, but in this case… You're already just one bad job short of becoming a druggie, so I'll spare you the lecture." Elliot rolled his eyes flippantly and placed a hand on his hips, cantering them sassily. "Tell me… why did you become a headmistress at this school?" He queried acidly.

Speka smirked and cocked her head, "Is your hair black died mostly red, or is your hair red and you decided to stupidly dye a patch of it black?" She retorted sardonically. Elliot smirked and scratched behind his right ear. "You didn't answer my question." Speka shrugged, "You didn't answer mine."

Elliot frowned, "Very funny."

Speka beamed, an expression of such dangerous levels of psychopath that even Elliot cringed. "I do it for the children, I love making them cry tears of joy." The redhead deadpanned and shook his head. "More like tears of frustration." He mumbled in an undertone. The headmistress diverted her stare to Els who grimaced in return. "Despite how stupid I think you are, your sister Elesis says that you are quite smart, is she as stupid as you?" Els gaped incredulously at her. "Why-!" Speka cut him off with an airy wave and tucked a strand of lavender behind her ear. "Ah, I suppose I shall put you to work in the library, shelving books and keeping them in order." Speka threw another fleeting glimpse at the packet. "Your sister also mentioned that you were a _flirt_," she stated, placing a disdainful emphasis on the word "flirt" as if it was the worst thing someone could be right up there with serial killers and rapists. Els chuckled feebly and tugged on one of his small side tails. "Hue… I do like women," he admitted honestly.

Speka scowled malignantly at him and stood up, leaning in towards the redhead. "Well! I'll tell you this sir! If I catch you so much as _touching _a girl in a flirtatious way, there will be trouble!" Els gulped and leaned back in his chair, hastily trying to distance himself from the headmistress. "In the days of old before human rights became a thing, I could get away with castrating you-" Elliot snickered- "But now, since we have such idiotic rules outlawing non-voluntary castration, I will have to settle with firing you, making it so that you're only job option will be to work at a whorehouse, and then pray every night that you wind up stabbed to death in a dark alleyway." Els blanched, his throat constricting, unconsciously, he crossed his legs.

"That leaves you." Speka remarked, turning her face towards a very, very, VERY terrified Elsword who was barely managing to keep himself from pissing his pants. "The notes say you are responsible, neat, and polite." Speka observed, scanning over the packet. "You are also the oldest, ne?" Elsword slowly nodded, "Correct ma'am." Speka hissed and threw the packet at him. "Don't call me ma'am! It makes me feel old! Call me Lady Speka, Mistress Speka, or Miss Speka, but no ma'am!" She barked and scratched the desk again. Elliot cackled, "Why do you have such a problem with age? Were you alive before human rights became a thing?" Speka smiled mirthlessly and picked up a stapler.

"Do you want me to staple your lips shut? I will do it."

That shut Elliot up, "Where are human rights when you need them?" He griped but other than that, offered no further provocation.

"Ok, I've wasted too much time on you brats already… I have to contact the Student Body President and have her greet the three new girls coming in, so I'll keep this short and sweet." She inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling. "You Mr. Elsword"- she pointed at the fidgety redhead- "You shall be a janitor." Elsword gaped incredulously at her. "Oh don't look at me like that!" Speka huffed, vehemently shaking her head. "It's a good job for you, you're responsible and neat, correct? And we only have about an average of one ton of rubble and El Lady only knows what per day, so it requires good time management if you want to sleep!" Speka profusely rubbed her forehead, "So I'm giving that job to you, we could always use more janitors." Elsword bowed his head deferentially. "Yes ma- I mean Miss Speka." He amended hurriedly. Speka narrowed her eyes and clasped her hands together. "Now, you seem bearable, but I am giving you a warning…" The redhead shuddered, wrapping his arms close to him.

"If you don't watch your flirtatious twin and your doomed-to-die-in-jail cousin here, I will make you disappear." She pointed a finger at a sleek black fountain pen. It shimmered softly before fading away, "Just like that, albeit in a more violent way… preferably with lots of blood… Gore is awesome." Elsword whimpered and buried his head in his hands. With a complacent nod, she stood up and snapped her fingers. All the papers scattered on the ground flew into the file in a neat pile, and Speka placed them back inside her desk. "Now if you will excuse me, I have to go tell Rena as to what she needs to do." She walked towards the door, leaving in her wake three extremely traumatized redheads who were thinking longingly of their old job bagging groceries at Quick-e-mart.

"Oh yeah, knight training is on the weekends, eight to twelve, don't be late!" Speka called out over her shoulder as she disappeared behind the door.

* * *

A sleek black limousine rolled up to the entrance of Ultima Thule. From inside the venerable vehicle, three purplenettes clad in Ultima Thule's school uniform stared out through the tinted windows, each one conceiving their own personal opinion about the school so far. "Oh someone please shoot me! This place looks like diabetes! What's next? Are rainbow unicorns going to start flying around the towers?" The purplenette with the spiky pigtails subdued by two violaceous velvet bowties groaned. "Oh hush Voidia, stop being so histrionic." Lementa- the purplenette with low-hanging pigtails and a stoic but delicate faced chastised gently, adjusting the scarlet tie with diagonal gold stripes she wore and tucked it in neatly. Voidia scowled acrimoniously and poked the purplenette who reprimanded her in the chest. "Shut yer' hole flatty and speak English!" Voidia snarled and jabbed Lementa in the chest again. Lementa flamed and her ahoge- the lone strand of violet that stuck upwards, straightened into a thin antenna of violet. "Why you little pain in the-"

"Your tension gauge is sticking straight up." Luna- the purplenette with wavy pigtails festooned with fuchsia bows and gold hair ornaments remarked lightly, her violet eyes wide as she took in the ethereal grace of Ultima Thule's architecture. Lementa flamed even brighter and feverishly tried to flatten her ahoge to no avail, it obstinately insisted on sticking upwards. "Can I come out now? It's getting rather stuffy in here." A thin male's voice whined in a long suffering tone from the trunk. Voidia snorted, "Not until we get out of the car Angkor!" She replied drily. "Technically it's a limousine." Lementa sniffed primly and stuck her chin up in the air. "Why did you even stuff me into your suitcase like some common sweater?" Angkor carped. Voidia drew her lips into a wry smile, "If you were a common sweater I would leave you at home! Be glad I didn't! You annoy me!" She shot back.

"I hope Ultima Thule has a good theatrics program…" Luna mused wistfully and pressed her hands against the window.

"Of course it does, the brochure and the letter-"

"No one cares what the stinking pieces of propaganda had on them Lementa." Voidia interrupted rudely and tugged on the sleeve of her black blazer. "Can't believe we have to wear these stupid uniforms…" The chauffer inwardly sighed and adjusted his sunglasses, keeping a watchful eye out for the person who was supposed to greet them and take this gaggle of unruly girls out of his hands. Fortunately, he didn't have long to wait. A willowy elf with sinuous golden tresses decorated by two angelic hairclips and sparkling eyes of olive green approached the limousine, each step she took sure and fluid. "Girls!" He barked, interrupting Voidia and Lementa's spat. "Yes sir?" Lementa enquired politely. The chauffeur jerked a thumb outwards, "Your escort has arrived, you can leave now." Voidia released a long, winded sigh. "Thank you El Lady!" She exclaimed and shoved Luna out of the way, practically leaping out of the limousine headfirst. "Hey!" Luna yelped and tumbled out after Voidia. With a deadpan expression, Lementa stepped out of the limousine. "What about our stuff?" The chauffeur nodded and lowered his sunglasses.

"They'll be delivered separately to your rooms while your escort shows you girls around." Lementa nodded and strolled over to where her two sisters were standing. "Hello girls! It's a pleasure to see you here!" The elf cried out warmly and held her hand up in greeting. Lementa's amethyst orbs followed the direction of the voice and her jaw dropped. "I thought Elves were supposed to be vegetarians! How did her boobs get so big?!" She wondered aloud. The elf stopped dead in her tracks and Voidia sniggered unpleasantly. "Awkward…" Luna trailed. The elf frowned, instantly dropping it in favor of a mildly strained smile. "Nature gives us what nature gives us, we all grow and change in different ways." The elf sang coolly and gave the three purplenettes a brisk curtsy.

"Well nature hasn't worked for Lementa nor has she grown." Voidia grinned mordantly and flipped her left pigtail. Luna giggled despite herself, earning her a scathing glare from a highly affronted Lementa. "What is your name Miss?" Lementa inquired with an air of affronted dignity. The elf sighed and flattened out the creases of her black pleated skirt. "I am Rena Avaron, Student Body President of Ultima Thule. I am a senior here." Lementa nodded and performed a brief bow. "It is an honor to meet you Miss Avaron."

Rena glowed jubilantly. "Why! You are so polite!" She gushed and performed another curtsy. With a sunny smile, she spun around and gestured at the school.

"Shall we start the tour?"

* * *

**Before you shoot me, this story is crack and no offense is intended (Just saying that because there might be people offended by the gender inequality... Hey! At least it isn't the stereotypical "male-is-superior" type! OAO**

**Ok… you can shoot me now for starting a new story instead of updating YnT and finishing Iconoclasm, not to mention the fact that this takes place in a school… Wait, don't shoot me for that, this version of Elrios is so twisted it's not even funny. If you thought Speka was brilliant, just wait until you see some of the other characters! Eve and Elesis just straight off the top of my head! Ah… but yes, the important part…**

**There are 3 Elswords (Did anyone spot the reference O3O) and 3 Aishas, and I'm going to be nice and let the readers pick their ElsAi! *Secretly prays for pairings she likes***

**So yeah… I'll put it as a poll… or you could just mention it in passing if you review… I'm not picky… But… In case you can't tell, this is utter crack… I have no order in this story, mecha spiders, and corporate CEO fashion designers from hell, twenty-year olds undergoing a midlife crisis, split personalities, fire eaters; all of it is here and stuffed into this story. FYI: Speka isn't the only sadist in this story. There will be pairings aplenty, but aside from the ElsAi, it's all set. Next chapter is the tour of the school and from there my zany humor should take full effect and we should be introduced to all but two or three members of the cast. Don't worry, this story will be taken out of High School eventually, but as for now… Enjoy the weirdness! Don't forget to R&R if you love me and this story! :3 **


	2. Welcome To the Crazy House

**Ultima Thule**

**Welcome To the Crazy House**

* * *

"_I don't think I've ever tried to be anything other than a weirdo."_

_-Martin Gore_

* * *

The heels of the girls' patent leather Mary Janes clacked against the Etowah marble floors as they walked down the cavernous hallway, breathless at Ultima Thule's profligate grandeur. No expense had been spared in furnishing the place in such luxury that even the Queens of old would tug at their silken protein strands in envy and desire. Gilded ormolu chandeliers dazzled in a prismatic rainbow as the diamond festoons bathed in the warm honeyed light from the tea lights. Soaring buttresses branched out, interlocking with each other's puce boughs and forming a precise, crisscross pattern that lacerated the ceiling's oil frescoes of heavenly seraphs in a powder-blue sky. Heavy-set doors with gilded handles proudly flaunted their dexterous engravings, and the brocaded crimson roll-out carpet was so rich even the keen-eyed Lementa could not discern all the golden livery set against the blood-crimson.

Rena paused and turned around to face the three purplenettes, her mien one of utmost pride and exuberance. She spread her hands out in the air, beholding all the regality. "This is the main hall of Ultima Thule, isn't it just exquisite?" She queried, her xanthous tresses a cream-tinged platinum in the chandelier's aureate aura. Voidia, being the only one that had recovered from her fleeting moment of shock-and-awe replied drily, "How much did this cost the taxpayers?"

Rena deadpanned and flexed her shoulders, tilting her head to the side. "Ultima Thule is a rather venerable establishment with an illustrious reputation, and the building dates back to the days of old when the Nasods were a flourishing race; the building wasn't paid for in modern day currency. It was paid for in an antiquated currency no longer viable today. As for the furnishings… Quite a lofty amount." Voidia gaped incredulously at the elf, her mouth opened wide. "Holy El! You're as bad as Lementa with your fancy-schmancy vocab and your rambling! I didn't ask for the building's life story! I just wanted to know how much money it took to waste for you to piss off the poor people and have them behead you!" Luna cocked her head to the side, her interest in current events waning. "At least it's pretty…"

Lementa _tsk_ed and tugged at her tie, "I think the building's history is fascinating. It's incredible to think that as of now, we're in a splendid piece of architecture that has been around and witnessed some of the most resounding revolutions in all of Elrios's history." Voidia rolled her eyes, giving the elder purplenette a chaffed stare. "Of course you would, you have nothing better to do," she snapped and shook her head. "Why you little piece of-" Lementa gasped and clasped her hand over her chest.

"Girls…" Rena trailed softly, feeling an intense pressure starting to build in her forehead. Luna wandered over to a random pillar and stared at it absentmindedly. "It's huge…" She remarked and tugged on the fuchsia ribbon that adorned her left pigtail. "Why don't you just say shit Lementa? Huh? Huh? Don't pretend to be all morally upstanding and all that bullcrap! I saw your Yaoi collection!" Voidia spat and clenched her fists. Lementa's eyes snapped open wide and she jerked backwards, her face contorting with rage. "You little brat! I can't believe you invaded my privacy!" She cried. Voidia sneered and placed her hands on her hips, "It was just lying there out in the open, so naturally… I peeked."

"You two… please stop…" Rena stated slowly, a vein starting to throb dangerously in her forehead. Lementa ignored her and shot right back at Voidia, the ahoge adorning her head starting to perk up and tense. "It was in a drawer in my bedroom! In a lockbox! Guarded by Lady Rarity!" She yelped. The middle triplet snickered and covered her mouth with a buoyant hand gesture. "To be fair she didn't put up much of a fight."

There was a crackling _bzzt _and electricity started to arc around Lementa's ahoge, now pin-straight. Hearing the charged noise, Luna whipped around her visage horrified. "Leeeeemmeennntttaaaa! You're tension gauge is about to cause a natural disaster!" Voidia gulped and hastily took a nervous step backwards, almost tripping over her own feet as the ahoge started to glow with a glittery eggshell blue light.

Fortunately (or not) Rena blew up first.

"YOU LITTLE BITCHES! STOP YOUR DAMN FIGHTING WHEN I TELL YOU TO!" She shrieked, her delicate features now bestial and horrific. A cold breeze whipped through the room and the lights shuddered, dark shadows sprinting across the hall, disappearing as suddenly as they came. Lementa startled and the ahoge went limp, all tension and electricity gone from it, it was just a useless strand of hair again. Voidia, now rather waxen, wiped her forehead, "Phew." She gasped as the elf's rage subsided. Luna ogled at the elf with wide eyes, too stunned to speak. Rena heaved a deep breath and forced herself to count to ten at an agonizingly slow pace before she dared to speak again.

"I… do apologize for my foul language," Rena stated, her tone controlled and the politeness forced. "I try so hard not to get angry, but alas it slips out of me from time to time." She gave the girls a brisk curtsy before turning her attention to Lementa, her olive eyes inquisitive. "May I ask as to what that little display there with your ahoge was about?" She queried and tilted her head to the right.

Lementa blazed and hung her head down, feigning an interest in the carpet's designs. "…" She mumbled an incomprehensible phrase and fidgeted around disconcertedly, masticating her bottom lip.

"Is something the matter? Did I bring up a sore subject for you?" Rena enquired, her manner now concerned and matronly. Voidia sniggered and held her chin up high, "Oh yes it's a sore subject for her." Lementa whipped her head upwards. "Stuff it!" She snarled and gnashed her teeth together. Rena forced a mirthless smile and flashed the two purplenettes a warning look. "Do you want me to get angry again?" She sang in a precariously light timbre.

"No… please no… You would give Lementa's ahoge of doom a run for its money." Voidia chortled and made a "bitch please" motion at the fuming eldest triplet. Rena's mouth opened into an "o" of surprise. "Ahoge of doom?" She furrowed her brow, her expression dubious. Voidia smirked and folded her arms, "Her trademark… the sole reason I only tried three times to try out a new voodoo spell on her." The eldest purplenette snorted, "Five." she corrected.

Voidia rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

Rena's gracefully tapered ears twitched and she averted her attention to Luna whose eyes were still open wide, though her expression was more befuddled than terrified now. "Can you please kindly explain… Miss-"

"Luna," the youngest purplenette hurriedly interjected. Rena nodded lightly, "Yes… Well… Can you please kindly explain to me as to what all that was about?" Luna hummed a jaunty tune before answering a moment later, "It's Lementa's _Mark of Magic_. She has trouble controlling it though; it runs berserk depending on her emotions. That's why I call it a 'tension gauge' it gets really straight when it's about to freak and cause some weird crap… Last time it went nuts, we had a snow day… In May… Lementa accidentally caused a severe hailstorm." She explained, fiddling with the crescent moon hairclip that subdued a small portion of her bangs.

"Ooh…" Rena trailed thoughtfully and tapped her finger against the bottom of her chin. "What's your _Mark_?" She probed. Luna beamed and dug her hand under her shirt's collar, withdrawing a milky moonstone pendant rimmed in gold. "Ah… It's gorgeous." Rena stated gazing at the gem admiringly, causing Luna to blush and stuff the iridescent stone back under her shirt.

"Th-thanks…" Luna stammered, struggling to keep her already girlish and hyperactive voice calm. "What's yours'?" She slung the elf's inquiry back at her. Rena contemplated Luna with an amused expression, confounding the purplenette. "Eh? What? D-don't look at me like I'm stupid!" She squealed and stamped her feet against the floor. Rena giggled and tucked a glossy strand of hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean it like that, but I'm surprised you didn't know. I thought it was common knowledge that Elves don't have a mark of magic since the females are naturally predisposed to have mystical abilities."

"Luna was too busy designing her magical girl costume in class to pay attention," Voidia drawled. Luna flamed and shot daggers at the middle triplet. "Keep your insults to Lementa!" She hollered. Voidia sneered and slashed the air with her hand, "Make me." She challenged. "Both of you!" Lementa scolded and pursed her lips into a thin line. "Both of us, what?" Voidia mocked.

"Girls!" Rena cried. The bickering instantly ceased. The elf rubbed her forehead profusely and rolled her eyes. _This is going to be a long tour…_ She thought, mildly disparaging. "I apologize for our conduct," Lementa said regretfully, giving Voidia the evil eye. Voidia mimed slashing Lementa's head off with her hand. Rena chortled humorlessly and threw her hands up in the air, "I… just… Urk…" She muttered and shook her head, trying to collect herself before heaving a hopeless sigh and plastering a strained smile on her face.

"Right this way girls," she motioned down the hall. "Let me show you the ballroom."

* * *

"Woah…" Luna's jaw dropped as the three girls entered the ballroom. Voidia snorted and shaded her eyes from the bright sunlight that streamed in through the cavernous arched windows. "I swear on all El, that a single room in this school would cost me more than I would make in my life time." Her sharp amethyst haze drifted indolently around the airy room, taking in the finery.

Polished oak floors gleamed, throwing a distorted view of the girls' reflection back at them as they roamed around the room. The ochre leaves of the oaks shuddered while the gossamer curtains of shatter glass blue flared out dreamily, like the breathing of a sleeping being. Circular tables draped in fine linen were spread out neatly on the plush royal-blue carpet, the platinum trimming glinting in the light. The banisters of the sweeping staircase was made from ivory, florid floral patterns engraved into the tusk with a mind-numbing precision.

Rena sighed inwardly, relieved that the girls had ceased their incessant bickering and were now taking an interest in the grandeur of Ultima Thule. They were going to be a troublesome lot, Rena was sure. Still, it was always the high-strung ones that were the most interesting. She smiled softly, remembering how awe-struck she had been when she first arrived from Elyria- home of the Elves at Ultima Thule. In the graceful elf's mind, no place could match the beauty of Elyria, but Ultima Thule was a close second.

_Click clack_

Rena's sensitive ears twitched as a faint sound of heels clacking against marble ghosted at the edges of her hearing, coming closer to the ballroom. _That's odd… No one ever bothers to hang out here. They're all at the student lounge… _She compressed her lips into a quizzical line. _Except for that one girl- Eve… oh no… _Rena face palmed and slowly shook her head. "Girls!" She cried and held her hand up. All the purplenettes froze and swung their gazes to the elf. "What?" Lementa, inquired politely. "Shall I show you the lobby? Or perhaps the library if you so like?" Rena suggested, her eyes darting back nervously. Lementa lit up, her expression jubilant at the word "library".

"She would _love _that." Voidia teased, snickering as she gave the eldest purplenette a patronizing look. Lementa rolled her eyes, "It wouldn't hurt you to read a book." She scoffed, placing a hand on her hip. "Girls! All of you!" Rena yelped, rushing over to where Voidia and Lementa were standing, shooting eye lasers at each other. She grabbed both of them by their arms, and yanked them forward. "Hey!" Voidia hollered indignantly and ripped herself free from the elf's vicelike grip.

"Let's go," Rena urged suppliantly. Voidia gawked at the elf, disbelieving. "What is your-"

The sound of heavy mahogany doors closing shut with a resounding _thud! _reverberated through the room, cutting off Voidia's piqued inquiry.

"Ah, how are you Rena- my loyal Elven slave?" A cool silky female voice drawled complacently. "Too late," Rena mumbled dourly under her breath and slowly turned in the direction of the voice. The triplets followed her eyes, curious as to whom the new girl was. A lithe saffron-eyed woman around the triplets' age stood in front of the doors, her silver tresses a blinding white as the sun played on her elegantly braided coiffure. Though she was caparisoned in the standard black uniform of Ultima Thule, she bore herself with such a nonchalant hauteur that she could have been the Queen of Seneca for all the girls knew. She even wore a tiara- a delicate little thing made of pure platinum, and titivating her forehead was a magnificent sapphire rimmed with gold. Upon spotting the three purplenettes gaping at her, her smug smirk broadened.

"Hmm? What do we have here?" She questioned lazily, her manner supercilious. Rena rolled her eyes and herded the girls closer to her, like a mother bear guarding her cubs. "People that are not involved with you… Also, for the last time Eve, I am _not _your slave, nor will I ever be." Eve narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, "They will be involved with me once I take over the world, and as for the effrontery you were brazen enough to show me; I shall forgive you and not have your head on a pike… as of today at least." She held her chin up and placed her hands on her hips.

Voidia rolled her eyes, "Is it just me or is everyone I meet today a walking thesaurus? What do these people eat for breakfast for El's sake? Dictionari'os?" She mumbled under her breath. Rena sighed and shook her head, rolling her eyes. "As you say Eve, but these girls are just students here." She averred through clenched teeth. Eve stared at Rena, her bearing radiating arrogance, "You're right, they're just lowly students, but if they treat me with respect and follow my commands, I shall reward them handsomely when I revive the Nasods and take over all of Elrios!" She chuckled darkly and held her hand up in the air.

Lementa's eyes grew wide as cantaloupes. "Wait!" She sharply drew in her breath. Eve glowered acrimoniously at the eldest purplenette, "What is so urgent that you dare speak in my presence you plebian?" She snapped. The eldest purplenette scowled and folded her arms, "Well! Talk about rude!" She huffed. The silverette deadpanned and held her hand out, "I shall punish you for your impudence!" She thundered. Lementa sneered at Eve, "I dare y-"

_ZWAP_

Lementa's willowy frame lit up with an ethereal roseate glow as electricity crackled. With a startled cry, the purplenette was knocked off her feet and she crumpled to the ground, dazed, mumbling nonsensical phrases under her breath. Standing behind the feebly stirring form of Lementa was a cold, sulfuric-eyed woman with charcoal tresses, dressed in dark grey and white silk, livened up with shots of pastel pink. "Hey… where did she come from?" Luna wondered, barely audible over the raucous laughter streaming from Voidia whose was doubled over, tears streaming down her face as she struggled for air.

Eve grinned malevolently and held her hand out, beholding the frosty newcomer. "That is my maid, Ophelia. She will be here to punish you for your insolence if you should be so fatuous as to defy me." She tilted her head to the side, glaring at everyone as if daring them to challenge her. She waved her hand, conjuring a sea-spume white magic circle that emitted a twinkling pillar of energy. When the light faded, a male clad in a spiffy white jacket with brass buttons and snow-white dress slacks stood next to Eve, his face obscured by a white helm with a stygian black visor, and around his neck was a tawny leather manacle with a clanking chain attached to one of the two steely cross-shaped blades he wielded.

"This my dear subjects is Oberon, he may look cute but if I so much as say the word, he will gut you like the poor insignificant salmon that gets grilled for a summer feast." She announced. Voidia giggled, causing Eve to narrow her eyes in a boreal expression at the spiky-haired purplenette. "Do we have a problem?" She tersely asked. Voidia beamed and motioned at Lementa who was finally staggering to her feet, her hair rather disheveled. "After what you did to her? I'd lick your cunt as a way of saying thanks." Eve smiled thinly, "If the time comes, will you keep your word?"

"Say what?" Luna ogled disbelievingly at the silverette, her jaw hanging open, interrupting Voidia's retort. The middle triplet gave Luna a chaffed stare. "Headmistress Speka will hear about this atrocious conduct of yours Miss Iota." Rena threatened, her face set in a hard expression. The silverette waved her hand airily, as if Rena's words were of no importance.

"She's a megalomaniac, with delusions of grandeur." Lementa muttered under her breath, hoping no one would hear her bitter words.

It was most unfortunate that Eve did.

"My visions are no delusions you lowly Neanderthal!" Eve shrieked and whipped her hand out in front of her. "I shall have your head for that! Oberon!" She barked and spun around to face the masked servant. "Yes milady?" He enquired. Eve glared hostilely at Lementa and jabbed a furious finger at her. "Cut her tongue out so that she may speak no more iniquities and befoul the air with her vile cants!" Oberon seemingly directed his gaze to Lementa before diverting it back to Eve. He tilted his head to the side, "Are you sure? She's kind of cute…"

The silverette marched over to Oberon and wrapped her delicate hand around the chain he wore, yanking it hard and forcing him to bend down so he was staring straight into her livid amber orbs. "Insolence!" She cried and drew her hand back before letting it fly, her palm connecting with Oberon's head and severing it from his neck.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Luna screeched, clutching at her cheeks. "SHE TOOK OFF HIS HEAD!" She cried and pointed at the now-sparking head of Oberon which was lying on the wood floor, singeing it. Voidia hooted with laughter. "I-I've ne-" She choked, falling to the ground and rolling over as she fought to breathe. "Too… Lady El… You… Hah… thank you… Funny… dammit… should've… camera…" She managed to wheeze. Lementa stared at Voidia reproachfully. "That's not funny Voidia… stop… Just stop… that's a horrible thing to laugh about." The younger purplenette pounded her fist against the carpet as she struggled to regain her composure.

"In the seventeen years we've shared together, have you ever known me to care if it seemed horrible to laugh at something?" Voidia questioned as she pushed herself back to her feet. Lementa deadpanned, "I know you are a sociopath but you could show some consideration?" She motioned at Oberon's head. "That poor guy just got beheaded by a megalomaniac!"

"It's no problem… The great Lady Eve can always put his head back on."

The triplets' expressions turned curious at the sonorous and unfamiliar male voice that rang through the room. "Thank El! Maybe he can chase Eve out!" Rena exclaimed and clasped a hand over her sizeable bust. The silverette groaned and buried her face in her hands, "Please don't let it be that creep…"

"Is that really what you think of me Lady Eve? That's so cold… but that's what I like most about you!" A young male, not much older than the triplets came sauntering into the room. Thin, with white natty hair and pale skin, the most striking thing about him were his eyes- they were a flickering neon violet with a fuchsia power symbol in the left eye in lieu of an iris. He was dressed in black and purple shirt and a white hooded short-sleeved jacket. Slung over his shoulder was a lavender duffel bag clasped shut with a white power-button symbol.

Eve grimaced and took a step backwards, holding her hand out. "The Queen commands you to stop!" She demanded and narrowed her eyes. The snowy-haired male obliged and smiled sunnily, unslinging the bag from off his shoulders and dropping it on the floor. Eve followed its movements with a suspicious glare. "What is in there Advertisment?" The silverette queried. "Add Vertizemont," he corrected still wearing the wide smile on his face. Eve rolled her eyes, "Do you take me for dumb Advertisement? Why are you repeating your name to me!?" She stated indignantly, her chest puffed out like a pompous cock.

"It's a pity her personality doesn't agree with you Lementa, otherwise you two would've been great friends… You see? Her chest is even smaller than yours, it practically caves inwards." Voidia whispered in Lementa's ear, earning a disdainful look from the eldest purplenette. "You are the most horrible person in the world!" She snapped back in a vehement whisper.

Voidia snickered, "There are still some who surpasses me…" She was met by a gaping blank stare from the eldest purplenette. "Who?" She whispered back, dumbfounded. Voidia sighed and shook her head, "It can always be worse…" She whispered in a positively demonic voice.

"I mean no disrespect to you Lady Eve! I love you! See?" Add withdrew a small plastic figurine of two people clad in wedding garments- the man in the tux was Add and the woman in the rose-pink dress and gauze veil with a golden tiara inlaid with rubies was Eve. "The 3D printer has finally been repaired! Good thing too, it was getting rather inconvenient for my research without it. Damn mecha spiders… always eating every electronic device they can get their pincers on."

Eve looked profoundly disturbed to say the least.

"Can someone tell me as to what a boy is even doing here?" Luna wondered with a confounded expression. Rena smiled faintly and massaged her temples, "You will see some males around here… They often come here to participate in the Knight Training sessions, not to mention the fact that the pay here is good." She explained, eyeing the door with an edgy expression. The elf bent over, motioning for the girls to huddle closer. "What?" Voidia whispered in an undertone. Rena's verdant eyes darted over to where Eve and Add were conversing (Eve appearing torn to whether she should be horrified or infuriated).

"See this shirt?" Add withdrew an oversized t-shirt, emblazoned on the front was Eve, clad in a skimpy maid outfit. "You perverse little freak!" Eve screamed, her slight frame tremulous with stifled rage. "I wear it to bed every night so I can get sweet dreams! I've currently been selling them out on this fan website I made about you to help fund your world takeover project!" The snowy-haired male chirruped. At this point Eve lost it.

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"…Now… We'll make a break for it while they're still chatting and then I'll spirit you away to somewhere that Eve doesn't dare tread…" Rena mumbled, her expression fierce with determination. "Do you comprehend? Read me: do you comprehend?" She added. The three purplenettes nodded, "Roger that." Lementa replied seriously. Rena dipped her head in satisfaction and glimpsed backwards at Eve who was now chucking sputtering spheres of cyan electricity at Add.

"Ok… We run in three…"

"I shall have your head displayed on the barbed gates of the Velder Royal Palace for the world to see!" Eve blared and summoned two drones bedecked in auriferous frippery- one a pearly white and the other a melanoid sloe. "KILL HIM!" She shrieked. The drones sprinted forward, crisscrossing and intercepting each other at lightning speed. They pounded into Add, throwing the snow-haired male across the room.

"…one… RUN!" Rena cried and broke out into a mad dash towards the door with the triplets in hot pursuit.

"DIE!" The silverette roared just as Rena slammed the door behind the three purplenettes with a thunderous _thwam!_

_BOOM_

The doors shuddered as the air exploded, barely holding on to each other as a forceful shockwave made the ground jitter. "Thank Mother El that we escaped with no injuries…" Rena breathed as she slumped down onto the ground, sweat plastering her flaxen locks to her face. "Except severe humiliation to Lementa and near asphyxiation for me." Voidia quipped with a poker face. The severity of the middle triplet's serious face just emphasized to Lementa how blatantly hard Voidia was struggling to not break out into a fit of absonant laughter. "Will Advertisement be ok?" Luna enquired in a worrying tone as she gawked at the door with wide eyes.

Rena moaned exasperatedly and shrugged her shoulders. "He's been through worse with his… ah… 'infatuation' with Miss Iota… but if not… His noble sacrifice shall always be remembered." Rena stated. Lementa snorted peevishly and shook her head. "She's a nutcase!"

"Thanks captain obvious," Voidia drawled, earning a scathing look from Lementa. The eldest triplet's ahoge perked up slightly, warning everyone that Lementa was in a foul temper. "Don't start with me," she snarled.

Voidia smirked and turned towards Rena. "Is this the part where you tell us this is normal and those two crazies back there are in fact, normal?" Rena flashed Voidia a thin smile and shook her head, rising to her feet and dusting off her pleated skirt. "No, those two were pretty near the top of the craziness factor here."

Lementa balked, "You talk as if that insanity demonstrated there was normal!"

The elf returned Lementa's comment with a relaxed shoulder flex. "It is common here… Welcome to the crazy house." Voidia chuckled, "So can we be expecting random explosions?" She jibed. Rena grinned wickedly and folded her arms. "Is that really the weirdest thing you can think of to occur? Just last month we had an army of robot spiders crawling out of the toilets."

Voidia gasped. "That is…" She trailed weakly. Lementa groaned despondently and laid her head against the wall. "Why… Why… WHY?!" She wailed, her ahoge drooping so it laid flat on her head.

"Great job Lementa… Now you're going to cause rain… bye bye sunshine." Luna muttered petulantly and pursed her lips into a pout.

"This place is awesome…" Voidia said dreamily as she surveyed the area with a blithe expression. Lementa collapsed to her knees, glowering darkly at her younger sister.

"Of course you would say that."

* * *

**I apologize for the long wait! I hope this 4.5k word chapter not counting AN's makes you happy! I know my sense of humor sucks… this chapter probably made someone punch a wall with the OOCness going on. And no… Eve is NOT evil… she's just crazy… another thing to note is that Add is currently base due to the fact I have other plans for LP and I think his up and coming class already looks better than LP (Lunatic Psyker scares me) So… Add will be Architecture Tracer! *Shot* Poor Lementa… Voidia is going to have sooo much fun. We shall be seeing our favorite redheads again next chapter and find out what they're doing while the girls are touring the school! I would've done so much more but… The conversation with Eve, then Add and Eve took longer than planned. **

**I am also pleased to announce a change to my writing system: All vocabulary has been buffed… trolololol- *Shot by people who already couldn't understand me* As Voidia would say… I ate a ton of Dictionari'os. **

**Voting for pairings will continue until ch4! All ElsAi pairings will have ship teases though no matter who wins! A thing to note is that if two pairings tie, I shall pick the one I like best! I'm also counting reviews and polls separately because you never know! O3O So… Here is the tally as of now!**

**IS x VP: 8 votes (Happy dance time! I thought RS x EM would kill the poll… shows what I know… O_O)**

**RS x EM: 4 votes**

**IS x DW: 3 votes**

**RS x DW: 2 votes (Wai no love? QwQ)**

**LK x EM: 3 votes**

**LK x VP: 2 votes**

**LK x DW: 5 votes (Wut crack have I been smoking… I think I'm seeing more votes for LK x DW than RS x EM)**

**RS x VP: 1 vote**

**I'm not putting any pairings that haven't received a vote on the map. **

**Before I move on to Reviewer replies, I want to take a moment to weep tears of joy… 11 reviews? 7 follows? TEN FAVORITES FOR ONE MEASLY CHAPTER?! *Breaks down* Th-thank… *Tries not to cry* THAANNNKKK YYYYOOOOUUUU! QwQ I SO APPRECIATE IT! I HOPE I CONTINUE TO LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS! HUUUAAAAAHHH! *Shuts down***

**EPHEMA/ KUSANAGI- A.K.A NAGIMA HAS ENCOUNTERED ANH ERROR… I AM SAM… I SHALL BE- *Shot by Nagima***

**Unattended reviews shall be given a kitten and espresso! Please continue to support me if my fingers' death served you well!**

* * *

**Konjiki No Yami- Those are my favorite pairings… :D I hope they win, but not looking too good… At least IS x VP shall prevail! SAY WUT? Gurl… what crack have you been smoking and where can I get some? Look at it this way… I've been around since August, and I'm still not in the top ten… You have 2 stories in the top ten… have some confidence! I'm FAR from perfect… Voidia is a deadpan snarker… she will stab you with her words… Speka… oh dear… *Chuckles* She's going to have some brilliant moments of her own. Speka needs more love!**

**Rosamanelle- Ohoho? I'm glad you got it! Does Add getting blown up, Oberon being beheaded, and Lementa nearly causing a natural disaster count as chaos? I hope so! Nope… I haven't… but I shall look it up on Youtube! I did see Alice of Human Sacrifice though… such a pretty song QwQ**

**Orithia WindBell- Thank you for lending IS x VP your support! It shall be much appreciated! It's not terribly creative… Utter crack inspired by Nelle-Chama's "Oh My El!" with a dash of my own twisted mind and loads of Aishas thrown in… There will be some surprising twists though…**

**Arrow-chan3- QwQ I miss him… Poor Leo… Poor everyone… Jun Mochizuki was so troll there…**

**Guest- Sure can do! (I hope)**

**HikaNoHana- Eve is a megalomaniac obsessed with world domination and she has a perverted stalker as her number one fan. I'm glad I made your day! I suppose the all-girls school… I could see why you and Yami would draw that comparison… except there's more than one male… XD**

**Yumi Hades- DM? Do you mean DW? Or does it stand for Dimension Monster? *Shot* Sorry… I had to crack a joke about DW… Still… your votes have counted towards your ships! Here's a cookie! *Hands you a chocolate-chip cookie***

**Sugarlatte- Yup… you got the reference!**

**Here are the 6 mains names and classes**

**Elsword- Lord Knight**

**Els- Rune Slayer**

**Elliot- Infinity Sword**

**I think Voidia and Lementa are pretty… I just gave DW Luna since Luna is moon and DW could basically be called Moon Witch with all dem moons and moonstones… O3O**

**xXxBlazing HeartxXx- But it wouldn't be me if I didn't speak straight from the dictionary… *Puppy dog face* I'm glad you found it brilliant… I thought it was a little boring… but considering we're going to have periodic robot spider invasions and Eve declarations of world dominance… I think we need to ease into the mayhem… I'd love to do that to DW… I puke rainbows every time I see her… but there are people who like her and it would be too mean (even for me) to have her wind up forever alone… as fun as that would be though… What's with all the authors on the Elsword archives have short attention spans? O3O**

**MasterSpikeII- I never thought that anyone besides SakuraLina viewed LK x DW as more than leftovers… *Hands you a cookie* Though I do think they look cute together :3**

**MiyuMelody- Good to see you! Wait… I thought you were LK x VP and RS x EM! Did something happen? I hope that no matter the outcome that you stay around, it's fun seeing your reviews… You ask some good questions… Voidia is flat… but not as flat as Lementa… Elliot will put it in a brilliant way later in the story. Voidia has no fear nor shame… She will make hilariously self-aware remarks and sass everyone. VP likes… well… being VP… EM is a studious bookworm with no social life… of course… As for the three Aishas not having Aisha… I just couldn't think of three good names with Ais starting out their names. I got Aisha, and Ai. **


End file.
